There are some genre descriptions I see and my heart sinks. “A new twist on tower defence!” Sink. “Adding an F2P model to classic racing!” Siiiiiink. “An update to a Myst-style adventure” Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiink. “A dystopian steampunk golf game.” PERRRRRR-DOOIIIIIIIINNGGG!
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Microsoft Golf 1.0. A computerized simulation of. 1.0 (current) 2.0; This is a 16-bit application for Windows 3.1 and later. Information Product type Game Vendor Microsoft Release date 1993 User interface GUI Platform Windows. Download Name Version Language CPU File type File size; Microsoft Golf. Vertiginous: 1 adj having or causing a whirling sensation; liable to falling “a vertiginous climb up the face of the cliff” Synonyms: dizzy, giddy, woozy ill, sick affected.
My heart’s back up where it belongs!That is the superb explanation given by indie publisher Surprise Attack Games, just announced as publishing the superbly named. Golf powered by “a mysterious Victorian-era virtual reality device.” I’ve had a play of it.One of the best ideas I’ve ever had is full size crazy golf. (Or “mini golf” as American’s so uncharacteristically undersell it.) The idea being, someone gives me countless millions of pounds (something that STILL hasn’t happened), and I build a full-size 18 hole golf course, but designed like something you’d find by the sea. So a hillside gets carved and painted to be massive, terrifying clown face, with an opening in its mouth the size of a garage door. A full scale stone bridge slopes up and over a proper river running through the course. And the windmill?
It’s a windmill. This is why I should be in charge of EVERYTHING. However, my ambitions have never reached anything as lofty as Vertiginous Golf.If regular mini golf is crazy, then Vertiginous Golf is stark-raving deranged, running around in a straitjacket and screaming about the eels in its mind. Floating platforms in the sky make up the most incredibly elaborate courses, intricate, inter-woven, multi-platform madness, crafted from what looks like Victorian furniture, carpets, and steam pipes.
Only moving pictures can do this justice. Indeed, it’s the golf game played on plush rugs we’ve all been waiting for. Importantly, it’s also rather fun.Right now the courses are so elaborate, so interesting, that they need to work a bit better at helping the player find the hole.
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March 2023
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